When you wish upon a starMakes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
This is the song that most people remember when they hear Pinocchio. However, I have wished upon a star many times after I've seen Pinocchio that my nightmares surrounding the movie will go away. Sadly, it hasn't come true yet.
Don't get me wrong. Pinocchio is a fantastic film. Great story, great animation, all that jazz. The thing is that for a kids movie, this is a damn scary film! Hell, it's probably scarier then most horror movies released today. Now I know what your thinking. "Pinocchio? Isn't that the movie where the puppet is alive and a cricket sings? Whats so scary about that?" First of all, puppets are damn scary (haven't you seen Saw?), so one that's alive should frighten the hell out of you. But that's not the point. The point is how damn scary some of the scenes were. Remember when they all went to Pleasure Island? And how they all turned into jackasses. And how they all where crying while they where being shipped to work in the stockyards? And how you where giggling so much over the fact they said "jackass"? But seriously, the scene where Pinocchio's pal transforms into a donkey in front of him made me cry the first time I saw it, when I was only an innocent lad of 7.
Plus, just look at this guy!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
That's probably the scariest thing I've seen in my entire life. Just look at it! It's even worse in the movie, because this guy looks pretty darn jolly before he makes this hideous face. It's like if you were six years old. Your at the mall. It's Christmas time. Your just walking out of the toy store when your innocent little eye sees Santa Claus. After begging your mom for ten minutes, you finally are allowed to go over. The line is long, and you end up waiting for 3 hours. But just before the store is about to close, you finally get to him. His belly is nice and warm and his breath smells of cookies. You know this guy is the real deal. You take a deep breath, but just before you can tell him what you want (a Transformers action figure), he yells "YOU LITTLE TWAT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOUR GOING TO GET FOR CHRISTMAS! NOTHING! NOT A DAMN THING YOU LITTLE FUCKER! YOUR THE WORST FUCKING KID IN THE WORLD! JUST LOOKING AT YOU MAKES ME SICK! JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST! I PREDICT YOUR GOING TO BE THE KID IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO ALL THE BULLYS PICK ON AND THEN FORCE YOU TO DO BLOWJOBS ON! AND AS THE HOT CUM RUNS DOWN THE SIDE OF YOUR FACE, YOU'LL START CRYING BECAUSE YOU ARE A LITTLE FUCKING CRYBABY! GOD DOESN'T EXIST!" And then he makes that horrible smile at you.
That kinda what it's like.
But there are alot of great things about this movie too, all crazy scary Coachmen aside. The animation is so good. Watching so many CGI movies that have technology that even Disney himself couldn't even imagine, yet it's amazing how much more enjoyable it is to watch the surreal worlds that the hand animated Disney movies possese. There is one scene in which Pinocchio is walking underwater looking for Monstro the whale. That is my favorite scene. It's just so cool to watch and the effort put into the movie shines through in that scene.
In short, Pinocchio is a fantatic movie. Great story, billiant animation, awesome voice work. However, this might be a little scary for the wee ones. Wait a little bit untill they see this. 21 is probably a good minimum age.
Don't get me wrong. Pinocchio is a fantastic film. Great story, great animation, all that jazz. The thing is that for a kids movie, this is a damn scary film! Hell, it's probably scarier then most horror movies released today. Now I know what your thinking. "Pinocchio? Isn't that the movie where the puppet is alive and a cricket sings? Whats so scary about that?" First of all, puppets are damn scary (haven't you seen Saw?), so one that's alive should frighten the hell out of you. But that's not the point. The point is how damn scary some of the scenes were. Remember when they all went to Pleasure Island? And how they all turned into jackasses. And how they all where crying while they where being shipped to work in the stockyards? And how you where giggling so much over the fact they said "jackass"? But seriously, the scene where Pinocchio's pal transforms into a donkey in front of him made me cry the first time I saw it, when I was only an innocent lad of 7.
Plus, just look at this guy!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!That's probably the scariest thing I've seen in my entire life. Just look at it! It's even worse in the movie, because this guy looks pretty darn jolly before he makes this hideous face. It's like if you were six years old. Your at the mall. It's Christmas time. Your just walking out of the toy store when your innocent little eye sees Santa Claus. After begging your mom for ten minutes, you finally are allowed to go over. The line is long, and you end up waiting for 3 hours. But just before the store is about to close, you finally get to him. His belly is nice and warm and his breath smells of cookies. You know this guy is the real deal. You take a deep breath, but just before you can tell him what you want (a Transformers action figure), he yells "YOU LITTLE TWAT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOUR GOING TO GET FOR CHRISTMAS! NOTHING! NOT A DAMN THING YOU LITTLE FUCKER! YOUR THE WORST FUCKING KID IN THE WORLD! JUST LOOKING AT YOU MAKES ME SICK! JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST! I PREDICT YOUR GOING TO BE THE KID IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO ALL THE BULLYS PICK ON AND THEN FORCE YOU TO DO BLOWJOBS ON! AND AS THE HOT CUM RUNS DOWN THE SIDE OF YOUR FACE, YOU'LL START CRYING BECAUSE YOU ARE A LITTLE FUCKING CRYBABY! GOD DOESN'T EXIST!" And then he makes that horrible smile at you.
That kinda what it's like.But there are alot of great things about this movie too, all crazy scary Coachmen aside. The animation is so good. Watching so many CGI movies that have technology that even Disney himself couldn't even imagine, yet it's amazing how much more enjoyable it is to watch the surreal worlds that the hand animated Disney movies possese. There is one scene in which Pinocchio is walking underwater looking for Monstro the whale. That is my favorite scene. It's just so cool to watch and the effort put into the movie shines through in that scene.
In short, Pinocchio is a fantatic movie. Great story, billiant animation, awesome voice work. However, this might be a little scary for the wee ones. Wait a little bit untill they see this. 21 is probably a good minimum age.
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